We've all played golf with "That Guy." The one who's just miserable, disrespectful, ruins the course and your good time. Just a miserable old goat that you're wondering why they’re still playing in the first place. Personally, if I'm not having fun with you, don't expect to see me in your foursome again. I absolutely love everything about golf. I love that it's a classy game, requires patience, and takes time to get good at. There are so many areas to work on before scoring a great, low round. But I understand that it is just a "game". Don't get me wrong, I want to improve every time I'm out there, but it's a game, first and foremost. Even if I'm not "KeepingItInTheFairway" I'm enjoying being outside playing a simple, but extremely difficult game. There's not a game worth playing if you aren't having fun. As P.G. Wodehouse once said, “To find a man’s true character, play golf with him.” With that said, “This Is The Way” to Bogey Fett's Top 10 Golfing Etiquette Tips to make sure you aren't "That Guy" when out on the course.
#1. Don't Be the Slowest Player
Golf is a Gentlemen's game where respect must be shown to everyone. Playing slow or practicing your swing 4 times before you hit your ball only to shank the ball, will fire up the other players and is firing me up as I write this. If you're struggling and making the others wait a while, pick up your ball and move to the next hole. Don't make people wait for you or you may get cursed at with a golf ball heading your way.
#2. Keep Your Composure
Now, this goes against what I just wrote for playing with someone who is playing too slow. But this is more about your own personal game. We all hit bad shots, even the pros. They don't stick it on the green every time and sometimes (not as often as I) they may mishit the ball, too. Keep your composure and take it shot for shot. It's like a QB throwing an interception - move on and go to the next throw or in this case, the next shot. Don't get too riled up over a mishit here and there. Never throw a club. It's ridiculous. You only end up looking stupid for throwing it and even dumber because you threw an expensive piece of equipment you paid for. Oh, and don't forget you ARE going to go get it. Save yourself the "Walk of Shame" and keep your cool. Remember, you're out in Mother Nature playing a game. Treat it as such. If not, it's time to hang up the sticks.
#3. Respect Other People's Time
Don't be late. As should be the case for anything you do in life, but don't be late for your tee time. It makes your entire crew look bad, not just yourself, to the club and everyone there. A simple rule to always remember is: If you're not early, you're late. Arrive at least 15 minutes before tee time. Like with being the slowest player, understand there is a time frame that should be kept. Respect your playing partners by showing up early and ready to play.
As with rule #1, show respect to the other players on the course outside of your group. Don't waste their time continuously hacking at the ball or taking too many practice swings. You should have already done that at the range, if you had shown up on time to warm-up. Also, don't look for a lost ball for too long. 3 minutes max is all you should take. If you haven't found it by then, you're not going to and you're more likely to pick up another ball and try to play it. Don't be "that guy".
If you and your group are taking too long, play "next man up golf." Don't wait for each other to hit, as if you were playing Augusta National. Get to your ball and if the other people aren't ready to hit, make your swing. Speed your crew up so other groups behind you aren’t slowed down, unless you're planning on letting the next group play through, which is then recommended.
As a side note- When making the turn, don't hang at the clubhouse too long, unless you're prepared to let the group behind you pass and maybe the group after that, depending how busy the course is running. Get your drink & hot dog and head to the next hole.
#4. Repair the Course of Your Markings
I am the world's worst at giving the earth open-brain surgery. I can make some huge divots. The good thing is is that there's enough sand in the cart to fix my divot or I will pick up my earth-toupee and place it over my spot. You should do the same. There's nothing worse than landing your ball in someone else's divot mark that hasn't been filled in properly.
When sticking the landing from your second shot on the green or your first (hopefully) on a Par 3, fix your ball mark. Chances are, there's a nice dip in the green that needs to be repaired. Pull out your divot repair tool (or if you're a penny-pincher a tee will work) and push the green that’s been raised up from your ball towards the divot, moving the ground towards the hole you just made. Then tap it down with your putter head a few times and make sure it's smooth. Watch this video on how to repair a ball mark for more clarification. Nothing more frustrating than seeing your ball pop up from a smooth roll, only to see it bounce because you didn't see the little bump that was never fixed properly. Don't be that guy. As with Rule #2 Respecting People's Time, respect the course and other players.
#5. Keep the Course in Mind
As with #4, keep the course in great shape. If driving a cart, don't run over wet spots. Pay attention to where you are going and don't leave marks on the fairways. Follow the leader when scattering throughout the fairway, if possible. If it's a 90 Degree rule day, then drive to where you spot is on the cart path and then turn in. Remember, the grass is much thinner than your home's yard and needs to be treated delicately.
When on the green, don't pick up the flagstick and drop it on the ground. And definitely don't toss it. Place it down gently. Don't spit on the green. When I worked at Holly Tree Country Club, the Superintendent would go bonkers on us if we spit on the green. It's a respect thing, as it probably won't do much damage.
Remember, take care of the course and she'll take care of you.
#6. Stay Silent
There's a reason you see Tiger and other pros get angry when someone is talking in their backswing. Golf is a game of laser-focus. You must make each shot count or get ready to add strokes to your scorecard. Focus is key and any distractions can ruin a shot and upset that player. Respecting the players means keeping quiet and still during their shots. Silence your phone before entering the golf grounds, or better yet, turn off the phone. Now, I know from being a happily married man and half-millennial, that we are connected to our phones. Put it away for the round or at worst check it occasionally, when riding on the cart path to the next hole. Don't think you have to check it every five minutes. If your significant other doesn't realize you're out on the course, then you probably shouldn't be there to begin with. If there's an emergency, they can call the course and the staff will come get you. Don't bother the players with your phone going off or even worse, being "that guy" and talking on your phone. Nothing really grinds my gears than someone chatting it up with their significant other and wasting my time, because they must finish saying "goodbye" a thousand times before they take their next swing.
#7. Don't Walk on Someone's Putt Line
Every step on a green is softer than the rest of the course. It's shorter grass and thinner to the ground. Each step can make a groove in the green. When someone has marked their ball or waiting for you to finish, don't walk in their putt line. As noted in #4 Repairing the Course, it is extremely difficult to stay calm when someone messes up your line by walking in it. You may have just changed a smooth putt to one that now has an extra bounce, so you must hit it firmer. When going to your ball look at where their ball is and where the hole is. Walk accordingly aka walk around them. It may take a few extra steps, but it's the right thing to do.
When picking up your ball from the hole be conscience of where the other player's lines are, so you don't step on it. If you need to wait because you will be standing on their line if you putt, then mark your ball and wait. Golf is a game of ultimate respect. There's nothing like a good ole slap in the face by walking in someone's line, rather than going around them or waiting a few extra seconds. Don't be "that guy."
#8. Dress Classy
If your game isn't up to par (pun intended), at least your attire can be. Most clubs (or clubs you would want to play at) have dress code policies. Golf is a gentlemen's game. Show respect by the way you carry yourself and the clothes you wear. When someone comes to the club wearing jeans, I know right off the bat they aren't going to be a real contender. Wear a collared shirt. Tuck it in. And wear some slacks or shorts (if weather permits) that are close to your knee. The same goes for women, with the exception being a skirt that hangs close to the knee. Tiger Woods said, “Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.” No, the fashion police won't be enforcing the law and you aren't auditioning to walk the runway, but dress with class. As my buddy's (The Sandtrooper) grandpa used to say, "When you look good, you play good." He's right.
#9. Help Other Players
This doesn't mean tell them how to fix their swing, as that can/will only rile them up if they're hitting it bad and then they break #2. It means helping them navigate the course. If you've played it before, give them tips on the layout. Keep an eye on their ball in case it goes in some thick stuff. Help them look for a lost ball. Encourage one another. My crew and I all talk trash to one another, but it's in good form. If someone isn't playing well and we can tell they’re getting frustrated, we will tell them to "shake it off." We all want each other to do well, but of course, we want to do better. Remember this is a game and that you will probably want to hang with these people again. Don't embarrass yourself by being "that guy."
If you find a club, club cover, glove, or even a rangefinder, pick it up and turn it in to the clubhouse at the end of your round. We've all been "that guy" and left a wedge at a green. It feels good when you go back and there's someone that has held onto it for you. I know, I know, finding a rangefinder is hard to turn back in, especially if you don't have one of your own. DON'T DO IT! Be "the guy" and turn it in. Save your money and buy your own. They had to.
Who knows, you do the right thing and you may just make a new friend.
#10. Learn the Ways of the Course
There are many other minor details to golfing etiquette. The most important of these is yelling "Fore" when you hit your ball towards someone. Whether you are scared to or not, YELL IT! This is not going against #6 of Staying Silent. This is the time when you make sure they're aware that a dangerous object is heading towards them and they should brace for impact. There is truly nothing worse than blasting someone with an errant shot and not giving them a warning. It's unforgivable and it can be dangerous. I've played at times where someone hit it close to me and didn't' say anything. I lost and lose my cool immediately. I didn't break #2, as I wasn't angry with myself, but at the jerk who didn't warn me of an extremely dangerous small ball sailing my way. Don't be "that guy." Sure, no one wants to admit they've hit a bad shot, especially by yelling out loud to let the world know it. But we've all been there and understand that it happens from time to time. It's forgivable to hit a bad shot at someone when letting them know. It's unforgivable to let it fly at them and hope that nothing happens by keeping your mouth shut.
If you're practicing putting and the green is open, then hit as many putts as you want. If not, only use 2 or 3 balls max. Understand there are others wanting to hit at the hole you're at or maybe by where you're standing. Keep it moving so others can perfect their putting speeds, too.
If it is cart-path only, then carry enough clubs to hit your shot. It wastes so much time to pick a club, realize it's not the right one, then walk back to the cart, only to walk back again and hit the shot. Oh, and then you must walk back to the cart. Take as many as you need, even if that means 3 clubs, but don't waste time walking to and fro.
Some say don't talk to other balls. I disagree. I enjoy it when my buds are rooting for my shot to go in. I feel like they feel the same way. If you're disingenuous about it, then definitely don't. But remember, it's a game. You should all be competitive but enjoying playing with one another. Root for them to do well, but root for yourself to do better.
If you have a ball inside someone else's and they are up to putt, don't stand behind them watching what their ball does. It can make them uncomfortable and is just rude. Stand to the side and pay attention, but don't stand behind them. You may get kicked like a horse would if spooked from behind and that's on you.
Finally, there's the "gimmes". Now, this is your own call. But do keep it mind, if you make them putt it out, they will be doing the same. If it's close, I say give it to them and save your friendship. I've seen people break #2, because someone gingerly walked up and showboat-putted a one-footer and missed it only to have the other person count the score. It can be infuriating and I'm speaking from my own personal experience. Don't be "that guy" and give them the stroke. It's better to give it to them, than them get angry and it's a quiet round the rest of the day.
Extra Tip:
Most importantly: Have Fun. It's a game after all. Soak in the great outdoors, the challenge each shot presents, and the camaraderie that golfing gives. Chi Chi Rodriguez said, "Golf is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off." Enjoy yourself, but do keep your clothes on (Remember #8).
So, there it is. Bogey Fett's Etiquette Tips for playing golf. I can't guarantee that you'll "KeepItInTheFairway" but stick to these "rules" and you'll play well, be an enjoyable player to be around, and maybe make a new friend. Golf is a classy game. Play it like it's supposed to be played with respect for the course and the players on the course, including yourself.
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